we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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