I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
