Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
