Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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