bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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