Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize