we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
