I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
