im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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