The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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