We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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