i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
