even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize