He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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