Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
