I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wanna passion pit in your ass
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I came so hard my ears popped.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
