i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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