May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
