And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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