And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
