Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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