proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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