Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
