I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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