Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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