Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize