the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
