Sponge bath it is.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
