Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
