im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
where am i from again
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
