Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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