Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize