I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
