it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
