It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
His nipple licking is glorious
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