ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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