new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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