Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize