So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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