I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
