Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
