so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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