How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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