he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
