There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
