Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've blown a few things in my day
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
