He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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