So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
