..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
