I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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