I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
