I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
