You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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