Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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