I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
