your room smells of hookers.
And success
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
