Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
