some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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