do herpes really smell.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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