Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
