do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
