I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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