So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
