shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Farmville is her only friend.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
