Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
